In the last 2 months, 2 of my good friends have gotten engaged, and my best friend for the last 7 years was married this weekend. I used to be terrified of marriage, and honestly still was until Chad was married this weekend. It's probably a good thing finally overcame this considering I myself am getting married in September.
It used to be that I was so pre-occupied with the band that any interference to me felt like the death of the band. I remember seeing my old band instructor shred on guitar and tell stories about touring, and I asked him why he quit. He said he met his wife and wanted to spend as much time with her as he could. Then there was my guitar instructor, who was on his 3rd wife. He said he'd known hundreds of guitarists who had been ruined by a woman, because women always want their hand held and that doesn't leave you enough hands for your guitar. So I hardened myself. Nothing was going to get in the way of my guitar playing.
Then I met Emily. Emily was a 5'10" model with blonde hair and green eyes. Suddenly my hardness melted away and soon I forgot about my guitar and my ambition to be a rocker. She didn't ask me too, I just did. I made plans to go back to school, become a pilot, and buy an engagement ring. Then she dumped me. After a year and a half she dumped me. It hurt, but I wasn't scarred. I did however make the decision to never let a woman get in the way again.
I soon dropped out of school and started the Livingstons and lived a miserably happy life. No attachments, just the music. It was great and lonely, just like I thought it should be. I was content, perfectly content... until Mindy came into the picture. It was my summer of 80 concerts and there was one week where I saw her at 4. I later made of fool of myself in front of her at church and she avoided me for months, but then, at one of our shows, she talked to me, and we ended up talking all night. It was great, but not enough for her. She refused to date me for an entire year. Finally after a lot of hard work, she finally came around and accepted my plea to be my girlfriend. That was 2 and a half years ago.
I haven't been an easy man to love. I didn't melt for her like I melted for Emily. I was still cold, hard and career focused. I was afraid, even after the year long persuit, that she would some how try to take everything away from me. I knew her, and knew that she wouldn't, but I had hardened myself so completely that it took a lot to soften me up again. For some reason though, she stuck by me. I really don't know why. I'm not that good looking, I'm kinda boring and am really just mediocre all around. Beyond that she's just way too good for me to begin with. But for some reason she has stuck by me and she's made me realize, that despite what I was "taught" in the past, a good woman can help you on your journey and not just get in the way.
I look forward to this big step that my friends and I are all taking. I'm sure it won't make things any easier, but it's not like anything has ever come easy with this band. Who knows, maybe the women that are joining our ranks will be the ones who finally push us hard enough get where we're going. Maybe us guys aren't tough enough by ourselves. We'll just have to see.
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