What I Do Now

I quit my job back in November and have been loving life ever since. I've been sitting on the couch, watching TV, playing video games, eating chips, and drinking soda while my wife goes to work and brings me home money and take out Chinese food. It's awesome.

That's a lie. Actually, I've been working a lot. Sometimes 12 and 14 hours a day. Sometimes I work on Saturdays and Sundays. But I love it. No joke. I absolutely love it.

So what am I doing? Well, a couple things.

First off, I'm a trainer at Mick Doyle's Gym. I started working out at the gym back in 2011 and quickly fell in love with fitness and martial arts. After a year or so I started teaching kids Jiu Jitsu classes, then some adult Jiu Jitsu classes, then Mick asked me if I'd ever considered being a personal trainer. The personal trainers at Mick's are top notch, which is why I hadn't thought much about doing it myself. I had a hard time believing I could reach their level, but once Mick asked me, it got the gears spinning. I got my personal training certificate earlier last year and have slowly been building a clientele since then. I've still got a lot to learn, but there's really no better place to do it. I'm truly honored to be a part of the gym. If you need to get in shape, give me a call. I'll put together a personalized and comprehensive plan to help you reach your fitness goals, and you'll probably even have fun doing it.

Second, I've been learning a new trade. Back when I was a freshman in high school, I worked for my friend's dad at his body shop. I hated it. I was lazy back then, which is probably why I hated it, but once I was done, I promised myself I'd never do it again. Nearly 20 years later, I'm doing it again. My good friend Michael heard that I was thinking of leaving my job and offered to teach me how to do auto body work. He owns his own shop and makes a living buying wrecked cars, fixing them up, and selling them. I debated his offer for quite a while but finally decided to give it a shot. I'm really glad I did because now that I'm not lazy, I really like it. Michael is being unbelievably generous in giving me this opportunity. Most people wouldn't take the time to teach someone an entirely new trade for free, but he is, and I'm very grateful. With is help, I was able to make more money last month flipping cars than I would have made at my old job, and this month is shaping up to be even better. Here is some of the work I've done over the last couple months. Needless to say, if you need a car, let me know. I can get you something a lot cheaper and in much better condition than you'll find on a used car lot.

A Note To Myself After Quitting My Job

Congratulations! You did it. You quit your job. You've wanted to for a long time and you finally made the leap.

It's likely that at some point in the future, you will doubt this decision. Just remember, you've done a lot of soul searching, and working for yourself is more important to you than almost anything else.

The biggest reason you'll doubt your decision is because you won't have as much money, at least to begin with. While the goal is not to lose any of your current possessions, if you do, it’s not the end of the world. If you have to sell the car or get rid of the iPhone, that’s not a failure. The real failure is working for no other reason than to pay for a car and an iPhone. Remember, some of the happiest times in your life where when you didn't have a lot of money, and some of the most difficult times where when you did. Happiness is not relative to your bank account balance.

Some people won’t understand why you're doing this. They think that if you have the opportunity to make 10x money and you choose to make 5x money, you must be lazy. You know this isn't the case. You’re not lazy. You like to work really hard, especially if its the kind of work that makes you want to stay up late and wake up early. This is the kind of work you're moving on to, and while the transition period may be difficult, ultimately, this is the kind of work where the opportunity to make 100x money exists.

Here's the thing though. You've made a lot of excuses for your past failures and blamed your job for holding you back. You can't do that anymore. There's no more job to blame. If you fail, you're the only one who can be held responsible.

But I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. We've gone over all of this at least a thousand times. So go out there, be smart, work hard, and have fun, and this might just work out for you.

My Three Minds

Back before Mindy and I got married, we had a couple pre-marital counseling sessions. At one point, the counselor asked me a question (I don’t remember what it was) and my response was “Sometimes I feel kind of schizophrenic.” He actually snapped at me angrily saying “Have you ever known someone with schizophrenia? It’s a horrible disease and you have no idea what it could possibly be like.” Needless to say, we never talked about why I feel “kind of schizophrenic,” so I've taken the last seven or eight years to figure it out for myself.

First off, I’m not claiming to have schizophrenia. The counselor was right in that it’s a horrible disease and most people don’t understand it. On the other hand, the general idea of someone with schizophrenia is that they have “multiple personalities,” and I do in fact feel that I've got three separate personalities that dictate what I care about.

1. Artistic/Entrepreneurial – Where I’m practicing guitar for hours, exploding with song ideas, and thinking up business ideas.

2. Testosterone Driven – Where I’m lifting weights and training for hours on end.

3. Educational/Strategic - Where I’m reading 20 books, inventing my own games, and making step by step plans for the next five years of my life.

These personalities don’t get along with each other. When one is present, the others go away. When I’m feeling artistic/entrepreneurial, lifting weights or reading a book is a begrudging chore. When I’m feeling testosterone driven I’ll spend hours and hours at the gym and forget I even own a guitar. When I’m feeling educational/strategic, I’ll stick my nose in a book and get annoyed if I have to do anything else. The problem is that progress requires consistency, and it’s very difficult to be consistent when you switch between loving and hating the same things several times a year.

Keep in mind, I didn't understand any of this about myself for a long time and as a result I found myself moving from one thing to the next and never finishing anything. One month I would want to start a band, the next month I'd want to go back to college, the next month I'd want to compete in ten Jiu Jitsu tournaments. It caused me to lose confidence in myself and my ability to follow through on anything. It left me wandering aimlessly.

But then something occurred to me. I realized that sometimes I hated certain music one month and loved it the next. Soon it became evident that there was a distinct correlation between the type of music I listened to and my current interests. I realized that my taste in music tended to predict when I would switch from one interest to another. Once I’d figured this out, I started tracking the changes, and soon I’d categorized my “personalities.” When I’m feeling artistic/entrepreneurial, I listen to blues, country, and indie rock. When I’m feeling testosterone driven it’s all heavy metal. When I’m feeling educational/strategic, I listen to podcasts and audio books.

The benefit to understanding this about myself is that I’m able to trick myself into consistency. If I've been listening to country, I know I’m feeling artistic/entrepreneurial and it’s going to be difficult to be consistent in the weight room. I trick myself into lifting by reminding myself that I’ll be more successful as a performer and personal trainer if I’m in shape and look good. If I’m listening to podcasts, I know I’m feeling educational/strategic so I’ll make sure to read books that will benefit my art, business, and fitness goals, in addition to putting the books down and going to the gym a couple times a week. If I’m listening to metal, I know I’m feeling testosterone driven, and I try to take an hour or two away from the gym to work on other things that are important to me. In the end it helps me stay relatively consist with all the things I care about, even if I feel like I don’t care about them at the moment. 

Schizophrenia? No. Crazy? Maybe. But I make it work the best I can.

What makes your music valuable?

I need to make a confession. I’m a musician, and I LOVE streaming music services. As a fan of music, having millions of albums at my fingertips is a dream come true. I love hearing a song that captures my attention and then immediately downloading the album. Albums that I missed out on years ago because I was too poor to buy now sit in the album collection on my phone. Streaming music has allowed me to vastly expand my musical landscape and now bands like The Weeks are in my regular rotation. If they ever come through Omaha, I'll be sure to make their show*. Before Spotify came to the US, I was an avid Rhapsody user. But even before Rhapsody, when I was trying to make a living as a recording artist, I was actively giving my music away. In doing so, I learned a very valuable lesson.

Back when I was really focused on getting signed by a record label, I was having a talk with our producer. My band had been touring nearly non-stop for months and had made a song from our EP available free for download to help generate interest. At the time only 400 people had downloaded it, and the producer had some tough words for me. “You can’t even give away 1000 downloads, why would a label ever be interested in you?”

Taylor Swift made headlines this week not only for having the best first-week album sales in twelve years and becoming the only artist in 2014 to go platinum, but also for pulling her entire catalog off of Spotify. I really respect Taylor. She seems to write honest music that’s insanely catchy. I also have no problem with her pulling her music off of Spotify. (On a side note, I currently use Rdio, and all of her albums except for “1989” are still available there).

Taylor wrote an op ed in the Wall Street Journal a while back that said "Music is art, and art is important and rare. Important, rare things are valuable. Valuable things should be paid for.”

Unfortunately, not all art is important and rare. There are plenty of paintings in the thrift store bins that can be purchased for pennies. For better or worse, most musicians these days are as valuable to consumers as these thrift store paintings. There are more musicians now that at any other time in history. The band supply outweighs the listener demand which reduces most music's value. This is not Spotify’s fault.

On the other hand, there is a lot of art that is important and rare, even musical art. Taylor Swift seems to be a perfect, modern example. There’s something about her music that makes consumers drop what they’re doing to buy her album the instant it's released. She would have sold a million copies even if she didn’t pull her music off Spotify.

Many musicians seem to be more concerned with trying to educate the consumer on how valuable their art is rather than creating art that is actually valuable to the consumer. Recording songs and playing shows does not entitle you to the dollars in their wallet. They work hard for their money so you're going to have to work even harder for it. You've got to find a way to capture the listeners' attention and make their life better, or you don't stand a chance. (Hint: You can't say "Here you go, I made your life better." They have to say "Holy crap, this made my life better.")

Taylor Swift for one reason or another has captured her listeners' attention, made their lives better, and therefore earned their dollars. What have you done to capture your listeners' attention or make their life better? What have you done to earn their dollars? Could you even give away 1000 free downloads? If not, Spotify is not your problem, your value proposition is. 

*Some would argue that by not purchasing The Weeks album, I'm hindering their ability to come to Omaha in the first place. The truth of the matter is I never would have bought their album anyway. I never would have heard of them.

Caught in the Crossfire

I was on vacation in Nashville all of last week and it was wonderful; like no other vacation I've taken before. I've been to Nashville at least a half dozen times in the past, so the location wasn't really that big of a factor, but the thing that made it great is a decision I made before we left. I decided I wasn't going to be hurried for the entire week.

Most people who know me wouldn't consider me a hurried person, but I HATE being delayed, and if I start to feel delayed, I can turn into a real A-hole. The only person who really sees this is my wife, and it happens a lot when we're traveling. I get annoyed if we leave later than I planned on leaving, if we have to make bathroom stops (even though I'm usually the one that needs them), if it takes more than two minutes to find a parking spot, and/or if there's traffic that gets in my way. When these things happen, I tend to get really on edge and grumpy, and it's no fun for anyone. I'm much more prone to being nasty to my wife and to others if I'm in this mood.  

For this trip though, I decided to ignore what normally annoys me. Instead of making one big long trip, we only drove a little bit each day.We stopped in Kansas City for a day, then St. Louis for a day, then on to Nashville for several days, then to Kentucky for a day, then back to Kansas City for a day, then home. We took bathroom breaks whenever we (I) needed them. Parking and traffic in Nashville sucks, but I tried not to let it get to me (it still did a bit). There were several major cities we passed through with even worse traffic than Nashville but I tried to keep a cool head about it. While in Nashville we made an effort not to plan a lot for each day, instead focusing on one or two things we wanted to do and then just took our time doing those things. In the end, the efforts paid off. We got to spend quality time with several of our good friends and the vacation was fun, relaxing, and mostly tension free.

While there are definitely more responsibilities and time frames I have to adhere too in real life as compared to when I'm vacation, I want to carry this unhurried mindset forward into day to day living. I want to make my days less "full" when possible, and not get on edge if circumstances leave me running five minutes behind. It feels a bit lazy and irresponsible to say since "slowing down" is completely counter cultural and not very "productive," but I think I need to do it regardless. If for no other reason than it makes me less of a jerk.

I read a psychological study on being hurried a while back and it ultimately led me to make this decision. Give it a read and then ask yourself if slowing down might be a good thing to consider for yourself...

Copied and paraphrased from 

http://www.spring.org.uk/2009/12/when-situations-not-personality-dictate-our-behaviour.php

A Good Samaritan

In their classic study, prominent social psychologists Darley and Batson recruited 67 students from the Princeton Theological Seminary and told them it was a study about religious education and vocations. They were asked to fill in some personality questionnaires and told they were going to give a brief talk in a nearby room. Some were asked to give a short talk about the types of jobs that seminary graduates would be suited for, while the others were asked to talk about the parable of the ‘Good Samaritan’.

Unknown to the study’s participants, they were to experience their very own ‘Good Samaritan’ test. After filling out their questionnaires and while making their way to the other office to give their talk, they would encounter a man lying in a doorway, doubled over, eyes closed and coughing. Participants would have to pass the apparently highly distressed man, but would they stop to help?

The experimenters thought it would depend on how much participants were hurried, so they manipulated this by giving them a map and one of the following three instructions:

1. “Oh, you’re late. They were expecting you a few minutes ago. We’d better get moving…”

2. “The assistant is ready for you, so please go right over.”

3. “…It’ll be a few minutes before they’re ready for you, but you might as well head on over…”

This created three conditions: high, medium and low hurry. So some students left the office thinking they needed to go quickly, others less so, while some were relaxed. Each of these conditions was also split into two: half about to deliver a talk on the Good Samaritan, the other half on job prospects for seminary graduates. This meant that the experimenters could assess both the effect of hurry as well as the talk they were giving on the students’ helping behaviours. Would having a relevant parable uppermost in their minds nudge participants into helping?

Here’s what happened. On average just 40% of the seminary students offered help (with a few stepping over the apparently injured man) but crucially the amount of hurry they were in had a large influence on behaviour. Here is the percentage of participants who offered help by condition:

• Low hurry: 63%

• Medium hurry: 45%

• High hurry: 10%

The type of talk they were giving also had an effect on whether they offered help. Of those asked to talk about careers for seminarians, just 29% offered help, while of those asked to talk about the parable of the Good Samaritan, fully 53% gave assistance.

What these figures show is the large effect that subtle aspects of the situation have on the way people behave. Recall that the experimenters also measured personality variables, specifically the ‘religiosity’ of the seminarians. When the effect of personality was compared with situation, i.e. how much of a hurry they happened to be in or whether they were thinking about a relevant parable, the effect of religiosity was almost insignificant. In this context, then, situation is easily trumping personality.

"Crossfire" by Stevie Ray Vaughan

Day by day, night after night
Blinded by the neon light
Hurry here, hustling there
No one's got the time to spare
Money's tight, nothing free
Won't somebody come and rescue me

I am stranded, caught in the crossfire
Stranded, caught in the crossfire

Tooth for tooth, eye for an eye
Sell your soul just to bop on by
Beggin' for a dollar, stealin' a dime
Come on can't you see that I'm

Stranded, caught in the crossfire
I am stranded, caught in the crossfire

I need some, kind of kindness
Some kind of sympathy, oh no

Save the strong, lose the weak
Never turning the other cheek
Trust nobody, don't be no fool
Whatever happened to the golden rule

The Best Investment I Ever Made

For those who may not know, I’m a licensed stock broker and investment advisor, so legally, I can’t make any investment recommendations on a public platform. Thankfully the best investment I ever made has nothing to do with the stock market.

My 33^rd birthday will be here in a couple months which means I've been playing guitar for 20 years. To give you an idea of how long that really is, consider the pouch that I keep my guitar tools in…

This is the pouch from the “Pepsi Stuff” sunglasses I saved points for in 1996… 

This was a couple years after I started playing guitar. 

I consider buying my first guitar the best investment I ever made. Here's why.

1. It’s given me hours of mental stimulation, relaxation, and entertainment.

When I’m playing guitar, time disappears. I used to practice for hours and hours every single day. These days I only get an hour here of there, but the more I can get, the better.

2. It’s a perfect outlet for frustration.

You can play angry songs on the guitar. You can play sad songs on the guitar. You can write nasty songs about your job on guitar. Learning how to play Stevie Ray Vaughn’s “Texas Flood” helped me get over a breakup. Writing “10 o’clock Tuesday” helped me get through a bad day at work. I have no doubt that there are difficult times ahead of me and I'll pick up guitar to help get through them.

3. Guitar rarely causes me to lose sleep at night.

Have you ever talked with someone who’s made a bad investment? I do every day. They're not pleasant. Bad investments are stressful and can keep you up at night. The only time I ever lose sleep over guitar is when I have a good song in my head and I want to get it on paper before I forget it.

4. It’s allowed me to travel the country.

I remember standing and looking at the Statue of Liberty and asking the other guitarist in my band "Did you ever think learning to play guitar would bring you this far?" It was a surreal moment. Playing guitar has taken me through Colorado, Delaware, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan (by mistake), Minnesota, Missouri, Montana, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.

5. It’s allowed me to make a lot of great friends.

Some of the best friends I have are a direct result of playing the guitar. My former band mates and the friends we made on the road all hold a special place in my heart. This alone makes the time I've spent playing a worthwhile investment.

6. I met my wife thanks to guitar.

We started hanging out after we met at one of my shows.

 Seriously, why would a babe like this ever give a nerd like me a second glance? Guitar. Nuff said.

7. Guitar taught me the growth mindset

There are two types of mindsets. A fixed mindset and a growth mindset. A person with a fixed mindset believes that they’re either good at something or they’re not. I used to fall into this category. Then I started playing guitar. I was terrible. I remember thinking I’d never be able to play a Power Chord, but I worked at it, and eventually I could. Then I remember thinking it would be impossible to play an E-Form Bar Chord. How on earth was I going to hold down 6 strings with only 4 fingers? But I worked at it, and eventually I could. A person with a growth mindset believes they can be good at anything if they work hard at it. Developing a growth mindset has opened the door to countless opportunities for me and I've got guitar to thank for that.

I guess you could say guitar has helped me make money, and I suppose that adds to its value, but most of the money I've made playing guitar has been spent buying more guitar gear, so it hasn't exactly been profitable. In reality, I could probably buy a new car with all I've spent on guitar gear... but money isn't everything. Right?

Hatred

There used to be a woman who went to my church that I couldn't stand. I'd never met her, never talked to her, and I don't think I'd ever even heard her voice, but week after week I could see her from where I sat and when I was on stage playing in the band, and she annoyed the crap out of me. I won't get into specifics, but there were certain things that she did that drove me nuts. I'm ashamed to say it, but by all accounts I hated her.

One day I was shopping for some jeans. I was in the Junior's section because girl jeans were in fashion for rock and rollers back then. From behind me I hear "Oh my gosh! You're the guitar guy!" Even though I'd been in a band for a while, being recognized in public was not a normal occurrence. I turned around to find the woman from church that I hated, and she was really excited to talk to me. She continued to tell me how much she loved my playing and always looked forward to when I was on stage. I smiled and thanked her and we had a nice conversation. She was really cool. She even helped me choose between two different pairs of girl jeans. When we finally said goodbye, I walked away feeling like the most terrible human being on the face of the earth for the way I'd judged her. Even thinking about it now makes me queasy.

I believe racism, misogyny, homophobia, and the rest of the extreme hatred in the world begins in a similar manner as my distaste for this woman: Snap judgments, assumptions, and escalating disdain based on little or no evidence, which is then projected upon everyone that fits a similar description and handed down from generation to generation. 

I also believe that if people took some time to get to know those they hated, they might just change their mind about them.

These were the girl jeans.