The Greatest and Worst Feeling I've Experienced

I just got back from an amazing week in Montana. The band was there to lead worship and help out with a camp. The 15 hour trip up was eventful, with the van on the verge of overheating the whole time and then hitting a deer somewhere in South Dakota, but once we arrived, I knew it was all worth it. The scenery of Montana is breath taking. They don't call it "the big sky state" for nothing. The camp was located in a valley between two timber covered mountains and was overlooked by the majestic Mt. Holly. The weather was a perfect 60-70 degrees and the sky was almost always bright blue with white puffy clouds hanging lazily.

As with most camps that I've taken part in over the years the feeling of community was amazing, only attainable in a week long camp. Friends become better friends, enemies become acquaintances, and everyone gets closer to God than they have the entire year. Usually this "high" trickles down over the year as you are once again implanted back into the real world, but the feeling that you've accomplished something, that you actually experienced God in a way you are rarely able too is wonderful. That combined with the new people you've met and may never see again once the camp is over, leaves a terrible sense of longing once your back home.

It's the greatest and worst feeling I've ever experienced.

Part of it is due to my nature. I'm a drifter at heart. I was telling Jared yesterday, I've never been gone long enough to actually miss home. I miss my fiance and that's about it. Having to come home after a week of exploring, playing music, seeing new places and meeting new people, to go back to the dull beige of my office cubicle always feels like a sock in the stomach. I do realize that the current band trips are basically suspended reality and we're only capable of taking them comfortably thanks to my beige office cubicle. Still I can't help but think that even if the money wasn't as good and there was more of a financial strain, I'd still be happier on the road, doing what I feel I'm called to do. I just have to figure out how to get there.

For now I take solace in knowing that I will be traveling at least 1000 miles away from home every month until the end of the year, one of those trips being to Jamaica to marry my fiance. I'll be seeing at least 7 new states, and the ocean for the first time as well traveling outside of the country for the first time. Actually 2 or 3 oceans if I'm lucky. I'll still have to work, but now that I think about it, it's not that bad.

Here's the video blog I made for the Montana trip.

Josh's Montana Video Blog

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