Post-It Goals

I promise, the next blog I write will be the “Stupid things I said in my late teens and early 20s.” I just wanted to write a quick blog about something I did last night that was a lot of fun and will hopefully be very beneficial.

First a little back story (if you don’t care, just skip to “The Activity.”)

I’m a stickler for making plans and setting goals. I don’t like just drifting through life. We’ve only got so much time on earth and I want to make the most of the time I do have. My “problem” is that I’m a dreamer. I think way too big and then get burnt out or just plain fail trying to make huge leaps instead of small steps.

I’m also a big Dave Ramsey fan. Several years ago, when I had a whole lot more debt than I do now, I read “The Total Money Makeover” and it changed my life. One tiny aspect out of that book that I grabbed onto was making small goals and achieving small victories. At the time, my mountain of debt seemed so overwhelming I didn’t even want to think about it. Dave suggested that to be successful at paying it off, I needed to focus on my smallest debt and pay that off to experience a victory. Even though the first credit card had only $500, I paid it off and it felt great! It motivated me to power through the next credit card and then the next. A series of small goals and victories eventually helped me wipe out my credit card debt. It was so beneficial that I decided to carry the concept over into other parts of my life.

The Activity

Last night my wife and I sat down and discussed the things that were most important to us in this period our lives. We narrowed our ideas down to 5 categories Debt, Savings, Home Improvements, Business and Fun and wrote all of them down on separate Post-It notes. Then we stuck them on the mirror in our bedroom. From there we focused on 5 goals in each category and wrote them all down on Post It notes and stuck those on the mirror underneath their category. Here’s kinda how it looks (you’ll have to imagine the dotted lines as post its)

------------------- -------------- ------------------------------

Debt Savings Home Improvements

------------------- -------------- ------------------------------

Car Loan $10,000 Remodel Bathroom

------------------- -------------- ------------------------------

School Loan 2 $8,000 Front Deck

------------------- -------------- ------------------------------

School Loan 1 $6,000 Kitchen Window

------------------- -------------- ------------------------------

Discover Card $4,000 Basement Windows

------------------- -------------- ------------------------------

Visa Card $2000 Interior Doors

------------------- -------------- ------------------------------

Now the fun part is going to be achieving our goals, from smallest to largest and then celebrating each of the victories with each other. Once the Visa is paid off, we’ll take down that Post-It, BURN IT and then maybe go to a nice dinner (using cash). For every $2000 we save over and above our current savings we’ll take down a Post-It and do something fun.

Speaking of fun it’s a very important part of the Post It wall. It reminds us to remain human while pursuing our goals and includes things such as visiting family in different parts of the country, going on a vineyard tour and working towards the highest goals of taking a trip to visit friends in Hawaii and later a resort in Mexico or Jamaica.

Once we wipe out a category, we’ll refill it with new goals, or we’ll make a new one and set the bar a little higher.

None of this is set in stone either. That would take the fun and motivation out of it. If we achieve a couple small goals and that big goal is still miles away, we may fill it in with some more small goals if we feel so inclined.

The whole process sounds a little complicated but it really only took us about 30 minutes to do and it was really fun. All in all, it’s a simple way to enjoy working towards what you want in life. I would highly suggest it to everyone, regardless of their marital status.

Paperbackswap.com

Not sure how many of you are big readers, but I found a cool website that you should check out if you are. I read about it at www.thesimpledollar.com and it's called www.paperbackswap.com.

Basically what you do is sign up for a free account and then post 10 books you have that you don't really read anymore. Posting is very simple, you just have to punch in the ISBN number. Once you've posted 10 books you get 2 free credits, each good for a book. Then you can search through the catalog of over 3,000,000 books and order them. When you order, the person on the other end mails you the book free of charge and it is yours to keep. The trade off is that when someone requests one of your books you do the same, paying for the postage it costs to send. When a person requests one of your books, you get a credit to request another book. It's as easy as that!

I read a LOT and am often disappointed when the library doesn't have what I'm looking for. This is a great source to find what I'm looking for, and best of all, I can choose to keep the book if I want.

The X and Y of Buy

If you make your living as a sales person, or have ever interacted with a person of the opposite sex, I would highly suggest “The X and Y of Buy.”

I was a little hesitant to start reading this book, though I’m not sure why. Once I started, I couldn’t put it down and finished it in 2 days. As a person who has struggled to make an independent living at which sales is the heart, I found Elizabeth Pace’s insight extremely valuable.

Most people understand that there are intrinsic differences between males and females, but very few have been able to understand the reasoning behind these differences. Pace sorts out the facts in a very neat fashion and details them in a way that is understandable and interesting. Not only will I use her advice in my day-to-day sales work, but her insights will be invaluable when it comes to personal dealings and my life as a husband.

There were many times during the book where it felt as if Pace had taken instances directly from my married life and explained why both my wife and I acted as we did. When I gave the book to my wife to read (who finished it in less than 24 hours and later gave a presentation based on what she read to her networking group) she felt the same and we found ourselves laughing out loud on many occasions.

I would suggest taking notes while reading this book, as there are a lot of facts and tips crammed into its 200 pages. As for myself, I plan on reading it again very shortly, this time with a highlighter. I also plan to put this book on my bookshelf and return to it several times over. The advice really is that good.

Bravery

Sorry I haven't posted for a while. Things have been very busy on this end. I've actually got 4 blogs in the works, one that I'll get up in the next day or two reviewing a book I just read. The others, as soon as I get motivated, on the following topics.

Stupid Things I said in my late teens and early 20s.

Remembering the passion of your "first love" (not about relationships!!!)

Art or/of Money?

For this morning though, I thought I'd share this video I just watched. I think I'm a little emotional in the morning, especially considering this video almost made me cry. It's just that we don't see enough good news these days. Everything seems to be negative and scary and controversial. I want to start a news channel that only has good news. That way when people are feeling down about the world or themselves, they can flip over the channel and see that there are still some good things going on in the world. 

I'm a sucker for bravery. I've said in the past "I would jump at the chance to die a hero," which could probably be filed under one of the above blogs that I'll be writing shortly. In a sense though, it's true. It's likely we meet heroes everyday. People that feed and clothe the hungry and give homes to orphans and love the loveless. As much as I admire these people and strive to be one, the adventurous side of my heart watches with envy when others put their life on the line and put their courage to the test. I'd like to think I'd be able to stand up to the challenge and have the guts to do something heroic. Until that time comes though, I'll just have to admire people like the ones in this video.

Self Improvement

I've recently decided I don't write enough.  I type a whole heck of a lot but when it comes to putting pen to paper I'm falling behind. I want to change that. The only problem is that I have terrible handwriting, especially when I'm trying to write fast. 

So here's my personal challenge. I'm going to start writing in cursive again. I hated it so much in school that once I was out I never did it again. Now I'm wishing I hadn't. Cursive looks cool in a journal, even if it's sloppy, and the whole point of cursive is to be able to write faster. Maybe my teachers did know something...

Anyway, I started yesterday. I had to google how to make a capital "I."

This should be interesting.

The Eternal Struggle

I read a blog today  that inspired me to write. You can read the inspiration for yourself at lorilenz.wordpress.com. It’s very good.

The overall theme of her blog was essentially why do men suck so bad and why are the bad guys so attractive to women? Let me first start off by saying, I am in no way, shape or form the perfect man. If you talked to my wife and she told you the truth, she could easily describe me as one of the men I’m about to decry.

On the other hand, I do think I have a tiny bit wisdom on the subject, at least from the point of view of a man who tries (every once and a while) to be a good man.

I’ll start with the men first, then move to the women (what you thought you were immune ;).

Men:

Our world seems to be overrun with man-children: Members of the male sex who are technically old enough to be considered men but who have not progressed beyond a Jr. High or High School mentality.  They can’t commit to anything, they base their value on performance and achievement, and they are constantly hurting themselves and anyone who gets close to them. When they die, 3 subjects will sum up their life:

1. Sports (or video games or music or drugs or add activity here and mix and match as you please) – Whatever they can do to fill their time and take their mind off the fact that they are miserable and dying inside.

2. Money – How much cash can they make, have or at least appear to have: Money is also the catalyst that helps them achieve subjects 1 and 3.

3. Conquests – How many women can they con into sleeping with them: The word “power” could be used as a substitute. Same difference.

Any man who is telling you the truth will tell you that there is not much in this world that is more appealing than these 3 subjects.  And this is exactly the problem.

As humans we are imperfect, we are damaged goods. We are born evil and will remain as such unless we experience the power of Christ. Even with Christ, the lure of evil is often times overwhelming.

If anyone has ever raised a puppy, one of the first things you learn is that you can’t just leave puppy chow sitting around. A puppy will literally eat itself to death. As men, we are puppies left alone in a land of infinite puppy chow… which leads me to my next subject.

Women:

Why are women so attracted to the bad guy? I can’t say any of this without certainty because I’m not a woman, so I’ll just have to go off of observations I’ve made and material I’ve read on the subject.

Observation 1 – It’s not just a cliché; the whole bad guy thing really does work. I was the nice boy for the longest time. I also never had a girlfriend for more than a month (they always dumped me), but then I started putting the pieces together. Soon enough I was playing guitar and I had tattoos, piercings and dread locks. Before you know it, I was dating a model. See visual aide number 1.

   Visual Aide Number 1

Observation 2 – The bad guy thing works for a while, but then to keep them happy, you’ve got to turn into a good guy. When we met I was a college flunky with dreads and tats and not much else going for me. When she dumped me I was an Aviation Administration major with a perfect GPA, full ride scholarship and nice preppy haircut.

Observation 3 – As much as women want to catch the bad guy and tame him, once they tame him he gets boring and they get bored.

So what’s a guy or girl to do in this insurmountable clash of the titans? John Eldredge, in his book “Wild at Heart” really helped me understand, and his explanation with God’s help, shaped the foundation that my one successful relationship has been built on.

In the book he says that inside every woman there is a beauty. A beauty who is looking for a prince to slay the dragon and rescue her so they can ride off into the sunset, and off to adventure. He goes on to say that inside every man there is a dragon to slay, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.

Notice the story does not read, “The prince rescued the princess and she became his life and he became hers.“ The adventure is a very important part of the story and cannot be ignored. 

(As for the question, why do women like bad boys? Bad boys tend to signify adventure, drama, and danger, most of which women find exhilarating. Not that good boys can't be exhilarating, but let's face it, they usually aren't.)  

Now I would be foolish to think I could wrap up the entire male/female relationship conversation in a few short pages. There are obviously innumerable scenarios. I also do not believe that every woman needs a man, or visa versa. But for those who are looking, I think these ideas may be a good place to start. See visual aide number 2.

  Visual Aide Number 2

Mindy and I have been married for a little less than 2 years now. Our entire relationship has lasted about 5 years. Notice my nose ring and gauged ears. This picture was also taken at one of my concerts. Mindy is very supportive of the adventure that God is sending me on, and I am very supportive of her adventure. We have not tried to “tame” each other. We have our bad times and our sad times and are by no means a perfect example, but in the end we both understand that we will not give up and with God’s help and God’s help alone we will transverse this awkward existence known as life.

For a few more random thoughts on the subject, I leave you with this"

“Love, love, love, is all we ever talk of, talk and talk is all we ever get done"

- Staggerford  myspace.com/staggerford

“Love is a verb.”

- DC Talk

 “A friend of mine spent twenty years looking for the perfect woman; unfortunately when he found her, he discovered that she was looking for the perfect man.”

- Warren Buffet

Va moozey tim yeppa mooch?

It’s been one full week since I’ve been back in the United States and I still don’t know what I want to write. It’s been a busy week, so I haven’t had a whole lot of free time to just sit and decompress. The free time I did have I spent watching House M.D. I’m not a proud addict, but I am addicted…

At most I have a collection of random thoughts so I’ll put those down for lack of something better to write.

1. I’m going to be in big big trouble if I ever have a daughter. As attached as I got to a couple of the girls there in just a few short days, a daughter of my own will probably be too much to handle. Future suitors beware…

2. The orphans could really use a good financial education. They’re given about 600 Grivna a month from the Government and most of it is blown on payday. These kids don’t have a lot of out of pocket expense. Imagine what they could accomplish if they were to save half of what the Government pays them. 300 Grivna a month for the 36 months they are at the Orphanage leaves them with 10,800 Grivna, or about $1400 US at the current exchange rate. Not a lot by US standards, but not too bad for a Ukrainian orphan. (I don’t’ know what kind of investment tools they have in Ukraine, or if they are even stable, but I’ve got to believe that saving something is better than spending it on alcohol and candy.)

3. Ukrainian orphan boys could probably thrash US boys in athletic competition, and they don’t have fancy equipment or supplements to make them bigger, faster, stronger.

4. I’m definitely going to know at least a good handful of Russian by the time I go back.

5. I’m definitely going back.

6. Kiev is a really cool city, almost like if they put Chicago in the Great Smokey Mountains of North Carolina.

7. US culture is so obsessed with TV and the internet that we miss out on a lot of real life experiences.

8. I watch too much TV and spend too much time on the internet.

9. Ukrainian colds hold on for a lot longer than US colds.

10. I can’t spend too much time thinking about what the future may hold for the kids I got close too. If I was able, I would have taken a couple kids home to live with me, or even stayed to look after them, but I can’t (not yet anyway). So here I am, sitting comfortably in the US and feeling very helpless for their situation. This is when I have to realize, above all, that I can’t save the world. God is in control. He’s called me to this cause, and He’s called me to recruit others for this cause, but there is nothing worthwhile that I can accomplish outside of Him.